My Story
"Thought is not reality; yet it is through Thought that our realities are created"
-- Sydney Banks --
Hi! My name is Lexi Owens, and I am a Certified Change Coach with a passion for helping people with disordered eating and drinking habits, parenting struggles, and anxiety.
I am a boy mom to two teenagers and a wife of 23 years to my hubby in a loving and beautiful marriage. For some crazy reason I agreed to add one more boy to our house in Golden, Colorado; our Australian Labradoodle "Buddy".
My search for lasting change stemmed from a 35 year disordered binge eating habit that I could not, for the life of me, be rid of. I had tried everything. Dieting (starting at 14 years old), hypnotherapy, CBT therapy at an eating disorder clinic, EFT tapping, coaching a health program, and the list goes on and on. What I Thought I was looking for was a way to change my brain and my body because I was sure that BOTH were broken. I was broken.
What I see now, is that I was actually looking for peace of mind. There's a lot of anxiety around disordered eating and so, so many rules and life just felt very heavy and complicated.
I stumbled across this understanding of innate wellness and the question "what if I wasn't actually broken but instead what if I just Thought I was broken?" stirred up curiosity deep within me. I latched on to Dr. Amy Johnson and other's work around this understaning and I have never looked back.
What if you Think your habit is unchangeable? What if you Think your anxiety is your identity? What if you Think parenting is impossible? What if all of this couldn't be further from the truth? What if you aren't actually broken but instead what if you just think that you are broken?
If you are ready to explore your "what ifs" and connect with your wellbeing to be able to live lighter, with more joy and more peace, please connect with me. I offer at least one free conversation with everyone. There is absolutely no risk to reach out. All that is required is a little curiosity.
The Coffee Experiment
I stumbled across this beautiful and even amusing way to see how much Thought plays a roll in our lives. In fact, if we can stay present, and open & curious with our coffee every morning, we are gifted a glimpse into our human condition 365 days per year.
I am calling this the "Coffee Experiment," because that's exactly what it is. Yep, I am challenging you to experiment with your morning coffee.
When I was "caught" sitting on the couch, cross legged, doing this experiment the first time, my husband asked, "What are you doing? Are you meditating?" I replied, "No....Maybe.... YES!" If meditating is being very present and mindful of what appears to be happening in any given moment, then yes, yes I was. And, I also happened to be laughing!
THE COFFEE EXPERIMENT:
If I had to guess, most of you wake up and grab a cup of coffee. While there are so many ways to enjoy your morning coffee, my guess is that you know your specific formula and you are probably pretty attached to it.
Now, what would happen if I asked you to change your coffee for only one morning? Skip the cream, skip the sugar, take your coffee black!
Take that changed coffee and have a seat. Sip it for 1-5 minutes and see what happens. No goal! Just experimenting. Be super curious and open to whatever arises in that moment.
Okay, back to now, did reading that already make you feel anxious? Are you feeling panicky? Would this experiment ruin your morning?
I know for me, before trying this experiment, even the idea of drinking my coffee without my special oat milk creamer brought up all kinds of Thoughts and feelings. In fact, I have been known
to travel with a cooler and a travel-sized bottle of the creamy, perfectly sweetened white stuff so I didn't have to partake in the powdery strangeness at a hotel. And even 3 years ago I would have thought this experiment was just stupid.
But, what if you just TRY IT?
What if, in this beautiful fresh, coffee drinking moment every morning, you get to see those bombarding Thoughts as just Thoughts - like a comic strip cartoon with the little bubbles of dialogue up above your head? Like, the "Thought A" bubble reads, "Oh my Gosh, I hate black coffee - NOPE. Can't do it;" "Thought B" reads "This is horrible - too bitter! I knew I would hate this dumb experiment"; "Thought M" reads, "Wow! Think of how many calories you are saving! - Maybe it's not so bad! In fact, are you now a black coffee drinker?;" "Thought S" reads "Weird, it's only bitter for 2 sips then I don't even taste anything"...... And so on and so on..... Thoughts A to Thoughts Z -- ALL OF IT -- JUST THOUGHT. Full stop. Not one Thought from A to Z was THE TRUTH or even real or even meant anything about me.
What even is Thought? Who is even thinking these Thoughts? Where do they come from? Do I believe "Thought A" is the best Thought and the one to be believed? Or is it "Thought M"?
This beautfiul (and maybe even amusing) little experiment can open up all kids of questions. I ended up belly laughing because it was an opening to see how much Thought our mind is habitually pitching at us-- hurling Thoughts A to Z out, at us, like a boss! And yet, not a one was real or meaningfull. Instead the Thoughts were jabbering to themselves about COFFEE..... and it hit me, what if that's all they do all day long about EVERYTHING?
What if habits, anxiety, & parenting stress, all come from this same place - THOUGHT? If you try this little experiment, please, let me know how it goes. I am so curious and would love to know what you saw.
